i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
