..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
