it hurts more in the daytime
People with herpes should wear stickers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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