Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
