How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
