Whod you bang
I showed him my bush... on skype.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
