Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
