As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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