Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
