I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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