i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
