we're blogging at a bar
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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