Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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