is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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