And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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