Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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