let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
