I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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