Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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