OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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