looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
