So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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