We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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