yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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