thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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