so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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