He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
