THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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