Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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