I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
