He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
