If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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