I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
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Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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