hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
