I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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