Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
