Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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