so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
