I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
