I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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