I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
