You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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