Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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