she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
