you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I want her autograph on my taint
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner