Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.