Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize