...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she looked like the before picture.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
