Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He? As in you personified your dick?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
