Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
