So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
