Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
