So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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