New invention idea: vibrating tampons
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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