Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize