like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
