Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
