what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
