Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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