using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
