Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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