When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
