she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
