Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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