Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize